Friday, June 3, 2022

Chocolate cravings?

I've had quite a journey AFTER losing the 50 lb. I really, really, really didn't want to find that 50 lb again that I had lost (and I knew it was probably only mislaid and wasn't very far away) and yet I definitely needed to eat more after the diet to regain my strength. 

After the strenuous dieting I found my body and spirit surprisingly resistant to any further limitations. It's like I wanted to be free to eat "whatever I want" henceforth. 

I've bounced around from one thing to another since then.  By now I've regained about 6 lb which isn't bad, considering it's been almost a year, and yet that's dire and drastic because it's progress in the wrong direction! 

The latest turning point was just recently when the darling pulled up to the window to order a fancy coffee and asked if I wanted anything. Now, I tell you, my world CHANGED a couple years ago when he ordered me my first fancy anything-- it was a spiced chai with almond milk (I don't get what people see in coffee)-- I took a sip and bells and fireworks went off, it was something like-- "Whoa, this is great! This is delicious! What is this? Oh my goodness, it's amazing" sip "Wow, how did you know about this? This is fantastic, thank you" sip "Oh, Lord have mercy this is wonderful, yummmm" sip, for the next however long it took me to put that away (and that's part of how I ended up 200 lb in the first place haha). 

So. Do I want a spiced chai? Well, do I want a drink that costs six bucks? That would be a nope. Now that the dating's over I don't want a cup of empty calories worse than I need us to save six bucks. 
So I looked up the sugar content, hoping that would help me feel better about missing out. 42 grams of sugar... is that a lot? The Heart Association says to stay under 24 g of sugar a day if you don't want to end up diabetic. 
Or you could have a pumpkin spiced chai for 58 grams! 

Along with my search, Google suggested a video called, "What happens if you stop eating sugar for 30 days?" and we listened to it. 
It was this one, 

That presenter says what I already knew but don't like to hear, that sugar is sugar is sugar. You and your self-righteous, soothing organic maple syrup, coconut sugar, honey, whatever it is, it's all glucose. And white bread and potatoes by the way. It's all the same. 

Darling said, Let's do it! Let's give it up! 

He wasn't really addicted to sugar. That's not his weakness. He can take sugar or leave it. But I am a sugar addict! The first step to getting help is admitting there's a problem, and I lerve sweets. All of my teeth are sweet teeth. 

I am the all or nothing type. Some of the advice pages suggest using moderation rather than going to extremes, but I'm with the personal trainer I found who says that moderation is just not effective with sugar addicts. It's like telling an alcoholic to have only one beer a day. 

The first day without sugar wasn't really without, since Darling had also ordered chocolate chip cookies with his coffee and I had had one. I felt it by evening. The second day I nearly lost my marbles. Turns out (one doesn't notice these things until they go away) I was basically having two servings of chocolate every single day. So I walked in circles and chewed the scenery. 
I said, "I'm gonna kill someone!" and darling says, "Hopefully not me?" 
Nope, because he still looks like meat, and protein isn't what I'm after right now. 

The next day was just as crazy, so was the next and yet I began to feel enthusiasm about breaking the back of this monster. Who wants to be addicted to anything? Who wants a substance to rule one's life? Who wants to be a helpless slave unable to refuse to do what's necessary to obtain said substance? 

I remember as a teenager hearing something about heroin addicts and not having any sympathy. But then I thought that maybe I couldn't be superior about it until I had become addicted to heroin and tried to stop; maybe it wouldn't be as easy as it looks from here. And then I contemplated how my mother railed against sugar and yet we ate it every day. Why don't I try going without that? Then I ate sugar for the next 35 years until now. Well for one thing, if you want to get off heroin stop hanging around the culture. And most people have family who wants the white stuff. It's not so bad if you remove it from the premises completely. And it's lovely if you have a healthy darling who is on the boat with you! 

My emotions are still going up and down on the sugar coaster but it's starting to even out. The ups are natural and are actually HIGHER. It's almost as if by giving up sugar, you become sugar. You get your energy back again.  

Darling says, "What are you eating there? Mud?" 
He said, "Well, that's a lot of chocolate, so if that doesn't take care of your chocolate craving then we will know that what you were craving wasn't chocolate." 
Thanks for that news flash, Captain Obvious. 

That's a lot of chocolate mixed with some peanut butter. Peanut butter doesn't have sugar. Ground cocoa nibs don't have sugar, neither do rice cakes. The whole thing really gums up the chewing works, and it took a lot of unsweetened peppermint tea to choke that all down. Afterwards I felt full, satisfied, and energetic. 

Breakfast has been oatmeal with chocolate on it, a zero-sugar bowl of nice warm mud. It tastes pretty decent, actually, and is incredibly filling. How about some carrots for lunch? 

I think I can do this! 

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Gently down the stream

Dave: row, row, row
Me: merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily!

My experience with water and boats is still limited that a rowboat is a thrill. 

I got to go again with the darling a couple days after. We were bringing the boat over to an end of the beach where we could pluck it from the water and carry it to our truck. 

You would think I could row. I'm strong enough, and I'm reputed to have a knack for mechanics and the spatial relationships thing that does me so well on IQ tests. But the one or two times I've been in a rowboat I look like a confused toddler, going in circles, splashing around to no purpose, unable to get the boat to make any efficient progress or even in the right direction. I've conceded that the darling gets to row. 

But he got an important phone call and abandoned rowing. I could have sat nicely and waited, but I grabbed oars and started hauling as randomly as usual, and eventually got us over to the target beach and THEN I got to do a totally excellent thing I've always wanted to do-- didn't realize it was at the top of the list of things to do before I die, until the opportunity for it was at hand! That thing I've seen a dozen times on pirate movies, where you jump out of the boat into the water and pull the boat up the beach. My shoes were off so quick you'd think somebody was about to tell me not to do that. 

That thing. 
The darling usually tells me "that's not a job for a princess!" 
But he didn't notice I was pulling him in. When he got off the phone, there's the boat up on the beach and me looking like I'd just saved the world. 
One of those high points of life! 

Wednesday, January 26, 2022

The Chicken Song

This is what the internet is for!




Tuesday, January 25, 2022

What Makes the Creative Process Flow?

It might be the smell of tires.

Monday, December 27, 2021

Paleo Almond Flour Chocolate Chip Cookies

The second date with my darling, that is, the third day I met him, the fascinating story of how that day unfolded included some paleo almond flour cookies as an important point. Some checkpoint people wanted to take them away from me, but that didn't happen  :-) 

I left some cookies with the darling when I went home, but I was a little embarrassed because they were not very sweet and wouldn't do much for the taste buds of an average person. Later I found out he likes paleo too! 

They were like these, but these are better. 

Just sharing. This recipe is really simple and turns out great every time.







Friday, October 8, 2021

Gudrun's Fashions

Gudrun style

This is the kind of thing I've been favoring lately, as we head for a really cold new home! 

I've enjoyed looking into the idea of layers and how they did things in the middle ages, or almost up to the present time, with a couple of linen underlayers for warmth and cleanliness, then the pretty layer, then a sturdy apron or warm jumper over that. 

On my last visit to my cold new home I already looked like this, "You look like a pioneer woman!" as someone told me, just because the ruffled edge of my flannel nightgown showed under the denim jumper. 

I became a little self-conscious, but it's that or freeze. So I'll take layers. This website's style encourages me. Call it artsy! 

This one the very most of all, here I am! 

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Random Inspiration: DeAnna Price at hammer throwing trials

Without Facebook I'm just going to have to post a lot more here! 

So this is today's entertainment. I don't follow any kind of sports, but looked up Deanna Price out of curiosity after noticing a photo of her in an article about someone in the same sport who is NOT a good role model. Never mind that. 

I was mostly curious what the sport looked like, then I found this adorable tank of a woman! She is so very STRONG, but somehow also dainty, and her determination, cheerfulness and passion shine through along with her warrior yell. It's a cool video. Have a look. 

Tuesday, June 22, 2021

I made a Crochet Cube Kitty for Karen

Here's where the pattern came from: 

It was a really cool pattern and worked great! 

Friday, September 13, 2019

Have You Ever Wondered if Your Child is an Artist?

Here's an easy way to tell!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cream Pie

What's actually happening here?

The layers: 
1. Graham crackers and butter
2. Cream cheese, sour cream, peanut butter and coconut sugar
3. Chocolate liqueur with butter and coconut sugar, plus magic (otherwise I can't explain how that turned into the amazing kind of chocolate drizzle that turns crispy when chilled-- every time I've ever TRIED to make it come out like that, it hasn't)
4. Blobs of whipped cream
5. More of 3)

There was no measuring and no cooking. 
Whoooooa but it was amazing. Sometimes everything just comes together. What else can I say.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Checking in: 2019

Hey, that's quite an accomplishment! I've now missed an entire year. Why was that? I dunno, there's no fresh inspiration to report.

I've been working on organizing stuff on my hard drive, with the intention to go back and catch up on my posts.  It's quite a mess. After my escape I used various old computers and the photos piled from one hasty, badly-organized backup to another. At this point, I'm thinking of giving up on 2018 and start fresh right now, posting the photos as I locate them! That causes a risk of overlapping-- posting the same old stuff twice-- but the other risk is of never catching up and never posting in my blog again. 

Here's today's random inspiration.  I went googling a phrase I heard long ago in the context of showjumping-- a rider said it. You can't admit the possibility of failure, or there's always that hesitation, and the fear causes the failure.

The quote is, "Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow."

And I found this lovely blog post--

Which addresses the worry, "But what if it doesn't work out?"

Right.  But what if it does?

Thursday, December 20, 2018

It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like

Just because we are not doing Christmas doesn’t mean we can’t get fat on delicious spicy gingerbread cut into nondescript shapes!

Next next to the gingerbread there is homemade Mounds style candy made from coconut flakes mixed with honey and frozen, then dipped in chocolate.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Blue and white nighttime beauty

Walking in a winter wonderland!
Hasn’t snowed yet but we’ve got some blue and white right here in Olympia.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

This Morning's Cozy Fire

Welcome to my home!
We have a lovely fire going today. It’s only raining and dreary out there, not exactly bitterly cold, but we couldn’t wait another minute for the first fire of the season.
Build it, and they will come. Next thing you know, everyone is cozied up near it with a book.

Sunday, December 31, 2017

New Creations for 28" Barbie Best Fashion Friend

A gathered long sundress, and a cute peasant crop top and denim pencil skirt.
I'm really pleased with how these came out!