Well, it's of interest to me, and "I'm kind of a big deal on
my blog" :-)
"Most Recently" because, unfortunately, this is
trench warfare. I'm fighting over ground
that was conquered before, and lost.
Last time was several years ago, when I was excited about Diet Organizer. That's tracking software that you can enter everything you eat, and it keeps a tally
of calories. It's a really cool program,
lets you customize and enter your own foods and your own exercises, and it goes
on computer, Palm OS or Windows Mobile.
Diet + software was a WIN for me because I love any excuse
to play with a new program!
I started entering my foods for a while and was astonished
to realize that I was regularly taking in 2100 or 2500 calories a day. I got it down to 1500 or 1700 calories a day and lost
weight steadily, got to a nice weight and was happy.
I felt good about my victory, figured I could take it from
here and stopped using the program.
What happened next? BOOM! Gained it all back on.
Oh sure, it took a while, but left to myself, my eyeball idea of portion size gradually got
bigger, my hazy memory of how long ago it was that I'd last eaten gradually
got smaller, and there I was again.
It's natural to expect weight gain in my setup. Living in America where there's yummy food everywhere, isolated in a house out in the woods, it rains a lot,
combined with some really bad depression issues! Which I tend to self-medicate with
chocolate. It's a disaster waiting to
happen and I understand that.
We're working up to the part I'm cautiously excited
about!
Two things happened recently.
#1, I had a sin issue that actually started to frighten
me. I couldn't let go of a temptation,
even when I had decided I WANTED to-- and it got to the point where I obsessed,
no longer about the original wrong thought, but about my inability to not
obsess!
I tried the old classic, stop eating. Funny how taking in nothing but water for a
week or so improves your whole outlook.
No, really. It clears
the mind. It lightens the spirits. It brightens the eyes. Nothing else really changes, but the garbage flakes
off. There's no fireworks, it's rather
like waking up, looking around, and brushing all that nightmare nonsense
away. It feels really good.
#2, I got worried about my digestive system. That's another thing I tend to hypochondriac
about. I'm falling apart! If my tummy hurts at all, then my colon
probably has at least three bricks in it and I have weeks to live. Don't laugh,
I worry about this stuff!
I noticed after the fasting how light and clean I felt, how
relaxed my whole innards were, and what
a nice feeling that was, and I wondered how I could preserve it at long as
possible. I thought maybe I'd try just
eating things that were really easy to digest.
Funny thing is, eating things that are easy to digest is
maintainable!
And even, delightful!
I also watched a couple of good videos:
Fat Head, which is the response to Super Size
Me. The film maker didn't appreciate the premise of Super Size Me, so he
proves you can lose weight and get healthy by eating only McDonald's, but using
your brain about what you order! He
explains how carbs cause fat and how fat and protein gives energy.
Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, which is about juicing, which I'm
not doing, but it made a lot of good points and was inspirational.
Food Matters, from which I picked up only the important detail
about its being a good idea to drink water first thing in the morning. I don't know why this is important, but I accept
that it's doing me good to have water as the first through-put.
So here's the diet:
I get up in the morning and fill a quart jar with water, and
drink it while sitting in front of my computer.
(Note to self, be sure to Go before leaving the house. Not long ago I downed four cups of water then
my vitamins with carrot juice, then hopped in the car and ran errands for a
couple hours without paying any extra attention to where the nearest restroom
might be, until suddenly I almost had a Serious Problem.)
Anyway. The
vitamins. DH gives me a huge pile of
them twice a day which I am expected to swallow. I'm sure they must be good for me; it's a
love / hate relationship. It boils down
to swallowing the vitamins being less unfun than listening to him chew on me
about it. So I swallow the blasted
vitamins with carrot juice.
And then, either leftover vegetables from last night, cold
from the fridge, or nut mix. We get
these unsalted, raw pecans, cashews, brazil nuts and raisins and mix them together. It's an awfully pricey product but there's an awful lot of nutrition in it.
And then brush my teeth. That's another important point. It's good to get in a habit of keeping the teeth clean ALL the time except when eating-- and then brush again.
I tried Fit For Life once, but I really can't handle eating
fruit in the morning. Don't know
why. My system just isn't ready for it
and fruit doesn't seem appetizing. I
like to eat fruit for the next meal. So
in the afternoon, I head for the kitchen table, where for lack of anywhere
better to put it, all that nice fruit from Costco gets piled. There's no question of amounts. Eat all the fruit you like.
And then brush.
From Fit For Life I learned that four o'clock is chocolate time. If despair hits and I can't handle it, I go
for the chocolate. Chocolate is actually
health food, y'know, if it's dark, especially the beet-sweetened kind like
Endangered Species. It's got
antioxidants and bioflavenoids and whatever. Chow down without guilt. Or
Coconut Secret bars, which are basically coconut wrapped in chocolate wrapped
in foil and you pay accordingly, $3 for a little thing, but whatever. They're delightful.
Dinner is meat and veggies. I get a nice big pile on the plate,
but it really doesn't take that much of a nice steak, or chicken sausage, or
salmon, to feel like good eating. Cooked
carrots, beets, squash, peas, I actually love 'em with salt and butter. I make sure to cook more than necessary so
there'll be leftovers to eat cold the next morning.
I didn't set out to lose weight, I was worried about my mind
and guts, and voila, the rest took care of itself.
I feel like I could do this from now on. I have zero desire to eat the bread
products. Something
made with wheat crosses my lips now and again, it's not forbidden or
anything. But I don't miss it. Even cinnamon rolls don't attract me. Yuck, I remember how it feels after eating
those things!
I love the cashews, avocadoes, cooked carrots, they're my
favorite so why would I need anything else?
I'm learning, finally, that if the question crosses my mind,
"Should I be eating this?" the
answer is No, and then to actually not eat it. If the question crosses my mind, "Is this going to do me any good
or not?" That it won't, and to not
eat it. I'm doing better at that.
We'll have to check in later to see if the news is still good
but-- that's another mindset I find is gradually changing these days. I'm much less concerned for the future. I'm already old enough to see that the future
is HERE, and today is not worth ruining with worries about tomorrow.
In case you ever wondered what the inside of a Goodwill dressing room looks like.
No idea where I could ever wear that dress, but I bought it anyway!
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