Saturday, July 5, 2014

The First Anniversary of Freedom

I didn't plan for July 4th, 2013 to be the date of my final escape.  The whole thing began to blow up in the morning and the day went dramatically sideways, but it was only midway through it, about five pm actually, that the holiday came to mind. 
I am an American, this is Independence Day, I am not anyone's prisoner, I am not going to be a victim any more!

It occurred to me that July 4th would be a GREAT date to cast off the shackles, as it were, and deciding to claim that date actually helped by a bunch.

I'd been worried that I wouldn't have enough strength.

Having a deadline helps things get accomplished  :-) 
"I must get free tonight, because tonight is the coolest possible date for it." 

I may publish the account.  It is a pretty good level of drama and suspense!  But maybe not yet.
Right now, I've got some other FREEDOM to celebrate. 

For one thing, FREEDOM from drama!  The daily wallowing in emotions and expectations-- over.

Freedom from blame.  It doesn't matter any more whose fault it all was, or who was the meanest and nastiest.  Because it just doesn't. 

Freedom to go to sleep at night, with peaceful and pleasant vibes.  Leave the squabbling in the living room, "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath."  Be friends again before bedtime, and go to bed with a smile on your face. 

FREEDOM to do something else!  Like, get a life.  Have some plans.  Do some work!  Think of a goal and take steps to reach it.

Some time ago I was walking with Karen and she expressed something just like that-- how do we find something that's really inspiring, something worth striving for?
I started singing on the sidewalk:  "Climb every mountain!  Ford every stream, follow every rainbow, til you find your dream!  A dream that will need all the love you can give--"  etc.
Karen said, "Well, Mom, if this was a movie, I would probably start singing, too." 

Hey, you gotta go with the moment.  

And that's the big news, worth making a blog post about--  I've thought of a dream.  A goal.  Something to do.

I want to be a paralegal!

Does that not sound FUN?  When I read the list of classes, every one of them sounds like candy. 
I have the MS Office skills and the language skills and the thinking patterns. 
I would not do family law.  There's lots of law other than that.  I like contracts.  I like discussions of borders and maps.  I like concepts of right and responsibility. 
When I hear about someone being taken advantage of by others... something inside of me seems to flare up and glow. 

Can I do it?  I don't know.  Are there problems and difficulties?  Yes, indeed.  But is it doable?  Yes.  Could I do it, in theory?  Yes.  Could I do it if I wanted to badly enough and tried hard enough?  Yes and yes.

If it's HARD, then that means it's time to go up a notch. 

And those shoes I showed you a couple posts ago?
*perfect*    :-D 


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